I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
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