I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
So im on with some ukrainian stripper for a vodka tasting tomorrow. If I die tell my family im awesome
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
I feel like I got hit by a truck. And I vaguely remember getting into an argument with a passive aggressive Ron Burgundy in a onesie- grown man, not a baby- about the pronunciation of New Orleans
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
Randomize
