I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
I kiss like a newly born barfing kangaroo
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
Randomize
