i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
Randomize
