I just had to pull over at a starbucks to throw up in the bathroom. They really should not have let me be a lawyer.
she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
I almost didn't wake up for my first day of work. The 3rd bottle of champagne was a mistake. And the 2nd bottle of wine after that was probably excessive
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
Randomize
