her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
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