Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
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