I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
My favorite part of you downing a fifth of fireball in my apartment by yourself is the shot glass in the sink. It's like you attempted moderation and were just like "Fuck this."
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
Randomize
