we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
I just woke up on an unfamiliar floor, my shoes are gone, my suits covered in red lipstick and chocolate, and Im wearing sunglasses that say "Maid of Honor".God damnit I love this country.
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
Randomize
