OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
I told her I had the flu when in reality I did way too many drugs last night, haven't slept and don't want to sit through a 3 hour buisness meeting trying to figure out which voices are real and which are in my head
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
Shame - the story of my life.
Randomize
