I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
Randomize
