lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
Randomize
