Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
my family just sang happy birthday to baby jesus. no ones even drunk yet
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
Happy anniversary, did you sign and mail in the divorce papers yet?
I told the emergency room nurse I didn't want to stop and ruin the moment. She said safewords are there for a reason. Super condescending. Got her number though.
Turns out it's a fake number.
Randomize
