Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
My life has hit rock bottom, I'm watching a movie on lifetime about retarded people falling in love. And I'm jealous of their relationship.
So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
Remember my theory about how the universe perfectly unfolds to fuck me? Well, it's at work right now
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
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