I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
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