jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
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