He is such a slut. More and more my type.
Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
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