Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
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