Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
I looked into this "it's just lunch" matchmaker thing and it was like 5 grand. If I'm gonna spend five grand I'll throw in another three and get new tits and find my own fucking husband.
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
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