I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
And now I'm taking a break sitting on the bathroom floor thanking god that people who eat at subway are either too classy to piss on the floor, or are still relatively sober enough to not piss on the floor before 5pm.
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
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