i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
So yeah, don't be alarmed when you come home after work to find me eating cookie dough out of a margarita glass with a knife and watching The Little Mermaid. It's been one of those days.
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
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