sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
my soul wont recognize me after tonight
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
My roommate comes home screaming, I brought you home a friend! I thought she brought me a guy...no, she brought home a one-eyed shih tzu.
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
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