she woke up with a sticky ear
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
Randomize
