Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
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