but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
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