sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
I wish my grandma would stop using the phrase "he pulled out" when she's talking about her contractor quitting his job.
i just walked downstairs to find my brother wearing a crossingguards vest and boxers. when i asked him where he got it he just looked at me, smiled, and kept feeding the dog yogurt
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
Randomize
