Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
