I wanna bring you to show and tell
somehow in between the body shots the bong hits and trying to convince the 7-11 lady to let me fill up my vodka bottle with cherry slurpee. i misplaced my car.
I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
Randomize
