She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
Randomize
