can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
HE FINALLY TEXT ME AND CALLED ME BY MY TWITTER NAME STAND BY FOR THE WEDDING INVITE, BRIDESMAID
DUDE. HOLY FUCK MY PRINCIPAL WAS JUST MY UBER DRIVER. I AM LITERALLY TRAUMATIZED. ANS DRUNK. HOLY FUCK OMG
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
He sent me a pic of his coffee mug to be like "I'm having coffee too.” \nImagine that. Morning coffee. In your boring ass mug. Dick pic or gtfo.
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
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