Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
If I hear the phrase 'these unprecedented times' one more time I'm putting my foot up someone's ass.
Randomize
