I wannas sexs uuuuu
Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
apparently i'm really good at getting wasted, having sex all night, getting multiple hickeys and oversleeping father's day brunch. this is the third year its happened.
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
A girl just asked me if we had pregnancy tests and a coworker had to stop me from telling her I was a pregnancy test. THAT is why I don't drink at work.
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
Randomize
