I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
Walking into my bedroom & smelling stale sex & disappointment isn't how I envisioned being 39, in case you were wondering.
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
Randomize
