Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
