I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
Crap I still need to get you a wedding gift. I'm just gonna give you a bag full of cash, lube, and condoms. And I'll use furry handcuffs instead of ribbon to tie the gift bag handles together.
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
Randomize
