Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
I just pynch a tree in the face
i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
o shit let me call u back theres a hamburger in my pocket
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
where are my pants?
in the oven.
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
Randomize
