drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
It was like giving head to a cactus.
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
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