I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
Randomize
