Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
Randomize
