I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
Randomize
