Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
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You. Win. At. Life.
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
He updated Facebook... "Got a new phone today." WHAT ABOUT THE FUCKING KID YOU HAD?!
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
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