I am engaged
To a real live girl that has met me
i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
I'm reading 50 shades of grey and masturbating while he's doing insulation downstairs. Maybe I can get him to bring me a sandwich
He's finally divorcing her, so naturally he tells me that we're not exclusive anymore. His penis 'wants what it wants' apparently.
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
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