I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
Met Dan at the park for lunch and the guy parked next to us was getting a BJ the entire time. Way to make me feel like an inadequate girlfriend, random park skank. All Dan got was a double cheeseburger and a large iced tea...
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
Randomize
