New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
I just found out that there's a bar that has happy hour at 12 pm. It's like the universe doesn't want me to be sober
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
Randomize
