too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
Hey can you tell Daniel there's a bottle of Captain Morgan's in the dryer ...
Sorry I think you have the wrong number
Yes it looks like I do
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize
