I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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