didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
Randomize
