I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
Buhtt sex?
I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
Randomize
