A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
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