I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
The little girl I babysit saw pink plastic shot glasses in my car and asked what they were for and I told her they were princess teacups.
So after your set last night some 42 year old woman bought me a drink, professed her love for your music, and then made out with me last night because she thought I was you. Thank you.
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
Randomize
