I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
You planned my entire going away party sitting in the bath tub cradling a bottle of Cuervo. You promised me fire jugglers. And a pinata.
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
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